Scales

^{Untitled – Jae Ramsey}

Ella Smith

Trigger warning: The poem discusses eating disorders and unhealthy weight loss. 

I threw her up against the wall. 

An attempt to make her feel the same way

She made me. 

It didn’t help.

I sat there against the sink,

Thinking, remembering, and contemplating. 

She didn’t say anything back,

Just laid there in pieces. 

I didn’t bother to pick them up. 

Not just yet, I think. 

“Four more pounds until you’ll be beautiful.”

“Just two days until you need to fit into that skirt.”

I swallowed my pride,

“Get your fat-ass off the floor.”

Her words rang in my head–

Her bright eyes glared into my soul. 

I rose to my feet,

My head begged for forgiveness. 

“Sit back down please,”

“Go lay in bed please.”

I can be done soon.

Just one hundred more.

My muscles ached and told me no, 

My abs pleaded for mercy. 

I hate you. 

I am never good enough

For you to say one kind word.

Please release me as your prisoner.

135

128

124

120 lbs.