Untitled – Jae Ramsey
Trigger warning: The poem discusses eating disorders and unhealthy weight loss.
I threw her up against the wall.
An attempt to make her feel the same way
She made me.
It didn’t help.
I sat there against the sink,
Thinking, remembering, and contemplating.
She didn’t say anything back,
Just laid there in pieces.
I didn’t bother to pick them up.
Not just yet, I think.
“Four more pounds until you’ll be beautiful.”
“Just two days until you need to fit into that skirt.”
I swallowed my pride,
“Get your fat-ass off the floor.”
Her words rang in my head–
Her bright eyes glared into my soul.
I rose to my feet,
My head begged for forgiveness.
“Sit back down please,”
“Go lay in bed please.”
I can be done soon.
Just one hundred more.
My muscles ached and told me no,
My abs pleaded for mercy.
I hate you.
I am never good enough
For you to say one kind word.
Please release me as your prisoner.