silence.

Human Satellite – Chloe Fox
Arabella Mitchell

I am afraid of silence.

Not the quiet kind.

Not the kind that’s welcoming, 

Ushering you into tranquility, 

But the kind that swallows you. 

The kind that roars like waves, 

Crashing over you, 

Again and again 

I am afraid of silence.

The kind that makes you feel

As if you’re a little kid again. 

Talking. 

Talking so fast that nobody understands. 

Talking to keep away the silence, 

But nobody’s listening. 

They wait for you to finish, 

They wait until it’s once again their turn, 

And they disregard everything you just said. 

I am afraid of silence.

You try, 

You try so hard to connect, 

To create conversations that they’d enjoy, 

But they don’t like you. 

The silence once again creeps in, 

It seeps in through your pores, 

It takes over your organs. 

It shuts you down. 

I am afraid of silence.

A blank mind, empty. 

You can’t hear a thing they are saying. 

Their mouths are moving, but no sound comes out. 

Ignored. All you want is friends, 

But instead you receive silence. 

I am afraid of silence,

It doesn’t always mean quiet.

It can be acknowledgment you never got, 

Interest, that was taken away. 

They forced you

Into that silence, 

The silence that I am oh so afraid of. 

They took that little girl, 

The innocent

Little girl. 

She only wanted to talk. 

She only wanted friends, 

Friends who wanted her just as much. 

But she was robbed. 

The silence took her. 

And yet, though she is afraid of silence, 

She welcomes it. 

It tells her to shut up, 

It whispers mean and nasty things. 

And she always listens. 

Because the silence never lies. 

The silence is always there, 

The silence is always creeping. 

It hears the girl, it listens to her talk. 

Talking to walls. 

The walls that dared to say that they were friends. 

The silence protects her. 

It takes her in. 

The silence will always allow her thoughts. 

The silence is her only listener. 

And yet, she is still afraid. 

She knows that silence is on her side, 

And yet, she longs for a friend.

And yet, she longs for human ears, 

To hear her. To actually listen. 

But that cannot be if there is silence.