If I Went to Space

Women In Air – Janice Jeong

If I Went to Space

Anabelle Meigs

If I went to space, I would first get on a rocket made just the previous year, 2115. I would double-check, triple-check, making sure everything was working properly. I would walk up to the platform connecting the rocket to the stairs, stand up there, and take in the cool air as I looked down.

If I looked down, I would see flocks of people coming to see me off. I would wave to my tearful mother and father, knowing I would not be returning. I would hear the command to enter the rocket, take a breath, and head inside. I would see the seats, the dashboard, and my seat, which was separated from the rest. The pilots would buckle me in, and I would feel the rocket vibrate. 

If I felt the rocket vibrating, I would know that the time had come for me to leave and see my new home. I would look out the window and watch the land begin to fade out of view, as I was squished against my seat. The sky would slowly fade into a darker and darker blue as we entered what was soon to be my new home. As I thought about my old home, I would cry. 

If I cried, I would be crying because I am leaving my family behind, as well as my favorite spots on Earth, and my dog. However, it is my choice. I remind myself this as I dry my tears and come back to the present. No use crying. They’re gone anyway, all of them. As we continued through space, I would look out the window and take in the view of the bright stars against the dark sky. I would remember the last time I saw my friends’ beautiful faces. My thoughts would be interrupted by a jolt. 

If I felt a jolt, I would know we were at our destination. I would be unbuckled from my seat and begin to float. My jaw would drop. I had only heard stories about this before. I would twirl around and around until the two pilots grabbed each of my arms and pulled me inside, ruining my fun. I would look around the space station. 

If I looked around the space station, I would see that I was not the only one who was chosen to leave Earth. There are other people, each with their room. This is not where my new home will be, but it is a waiting place for going there. I would be placed in a room and given a piece of paper. This paper would be for writing whatever I wanted to say to my family, I would write. 

If I wrote, I would write about how much they mean to me, and how grateful I am for everything they have done for me. It would be kind of awkward though, because they probably don’t want to hear that. They probably don’t want any reminders of me. I would finally write “Goodbye”. I would neatly fold it and hand it back to the guard, who would take it and leave me to my thoughts, I would think. 

If I thought, I would think about all the times I took my life for granted, thinking everything good would just come to me. All the times I thought my actions wouldn’t amount to anything. How I am the reason I am where I am today, and it’s no one else’s fault. I would sit there, trying to process that. I would remember all my friends, and how it is my fault they aren’t here anymore, because of me and my stupid fun, and moving here is the best thing for all of Earth. I would think about that but would be interrupted by a knock at the door.

If I was interrupted by a knock at the door, I would know it was time for me to leave. To go to where my soul will spend the rest of its life. I would be walking down a long corridor, with nothing to hear but me and the person who would be the final human to see me. “The final human to see me,” I thought. I would suddenly be frightened. 

If I was suddenly frightened, I would collapse on the ground and take shallow breaths. What if this isn’t for the best? What if I had a future ahead of me on Earth? “No”, I remind myself. Deep breaths. “You belong out here. You crashed the car”. I would let the guard drag me to my feet and would keep walking. I would look around. 

If I looked around, I would see other people going to their new homes. It would make me feel a tad bit more at ease, knowing that their souls would be in the same place mine was going. I would watch as they all left, one by one from a different room. I would see mine, straight ahead. I would not resist, no point anyway, and I would walk in. 

If I walked in, I would be greeted with absolutely nothing. Just a room with four walls and two doors parallel to each other. I would stand in the middle, as instructed, and the guard would ask me a question. “Any last words?” I would think for a moment. That’s a rather heavy question to put on someone on the spot. I would think for one more moment before shrugging and simply saying “goodbye”. The guard would smirk and close the door, and as he pushed a button, I would be sucked into space. 

If I was sucked into space, I would feel the cold, but then slowly, I would feel nothing. I would be at peace as I watched the space station go further and further away from my eyeline. I would look at the other people and smile. “This is my home now”. I thought to myself, as my eyes slowly shut, and I would remember everything. 

If I remembered everything, I would think about my friends, my family, and everyone else who used to care about me. I would remind myself that I am the reason my friends do not have a future, all because I thought it would be fun to drive fast. I’m the reason my parents are ashamed to call me their child, because I’m responsible for the deaths of four people that didn’t deserve to die. And everyone else? They are pretending they don’t know who I am. The worst part? I deserve it. So I would say goodbye, as I float in my never ending home.